Whenever someone says 'what's the good word?' I flip them off, because everyone knows th...

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: You do realize that my vagina has an On and Off switch linked to the w...

gauge? gauge? you want me to take valuable knitting time to gauge?

I have 'Cleaning ADD'. I start dusting, and 6 loads of laundry, a sparkling toilet and reorg...

I drink one glass of red wine a day for my health. The rest of the bottle is because I like wine.

Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee.

Funny Somewhat Topical Ecard: You can only read so many inspirational quotes before you realize its ...

Before pregnancy when I saw a girl with a 'muffin top', 'I was all like those pants are ...

All of your grandchildren are special ,not just one. Favoritism hurts | News Ecard

True story

I am so god damned sick of Taylor Swift. At what point following your upteenth break up do you start...

Brilliant

I'm not saying you're stupid; you just have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

hhahaha

Mr. Grey prefers brunettes who like to eat. Take that skinny bitches.

Some things are better left unsaid. That's usually the stuff I blurt out right away.

I don't fart. I whisper in my panties. This sounds like something Sophie would say...

When Led Zeppelin is playing, you shut the fuck up.

Funny Breakup Ecard: It's fine. I just checked, and you're totally better looking than his n...

!

lol

My doctor asked me if I've ever had a stress test. I replied, yes...it's called work.

BWAHAHAHAHA!! Now I just need the perfect time to say this to someone:)

There comes a point in the work day when you know you're no longer going to be productive. That ...

hahaha

It's+not+that+I+don't+love+you+anymore,+it's+just+that+now+I+hate+you. Goodbyes.

everyday

LOL

Funny Drinks/Happy Hour Ecard: WHAT!! NO COFFEE!! Then nothing else matters!

fifty shades of grey

600 shopping carts in the grocery store and I keep picking the one with the front wheel that likes t...

I am a paramedic. This is my partner.... My ambulance partner. Not domestic partner. (For Matt&#...

was a cupcake..found my studmuffin ;)

my philosophy exactly

My life. Unfortunately. Nothing wrong with being an aunt; I just really want to be a mom.

I tripped and fell into some feelings. It's okay though; I brushed them off.

big night! lol

Work is where I bitterly contemplate all of the productive things I could be doing at home. Home is ...

"My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.&quo...

Funny Ecard: Next time a stranger talks to me when I am alone, I will look at them shocked and whisp...

You don't like me? Awe how sweet :) ! Now go sit with the bitches waiting for me to care.

Said no one. EVER.

I dont always lose my phone... but when I do, it's always on silent | Reminders Ecard

It's cold enough outside that I was genuinely thrilled to arrive at work.

ecard

I hate when the debit/credit card reader at the checkout asks if the amount is okay? No. It's no...

ha!

'I look at people sometimes and think....Really? That's the sperm that won?'

Someone told me to grow up yesterday. I immediately banned that person from ever riding on my Unicor...

I order meals based on what'll look best on Instagram.