How I feel after a day of working front desk

The Kentucky Derby and Cinco De Mayo in the same weekend Time to dress like a lady and drink like a ...

Cinco De Mayo, Kentucky Derby and a Full Moon on Saturday? Yes! I'll be drinking Margaritas whil...

Yup

I'm tired. I mean like... Vacation Bible School kind of tired.

Funny Confession Ecard: Life is like a box of Chocolates. I ate them all. I don't have a life.

Sorry I'm not sorry that Disney characters still have a grip on me emotionally and financially.

Baby pictures on Facebook annoyed me. Then I had one and realized how annoying pictures of drunks ar...

For Lent, I am just giving up.

No thanks, I don't need to go see Santa. I just sent him a link to my Pinterest board.

Sure don't!!

Funny Friendship Ecard: You are not responding in the way I imagined you would respond when I acted ...

This is funny...lol...Who are you trying to convince that you have an amazing relationship with your...

Do you know what I hear when you speak? 'Drama, drama, drama, I'm a selfish bitch, drama, dr...

You see, it's Friday and not a single fuck shall be given today.

You've moved on. I get it. Now move on to something other than countless hours of quotes about h...

.

This is a list of who asked for your opinion.

Hahahaha definitley have thought this before..actually thought it today

Twilight was just something to do between Harry Potter and the Hunger Games. #thehungergames

Being a parent is a privilege not an obligation, some people need to learn the difference.

Puta, por favor.

Irrational sense of entitlement

Being married is like having a best friend who doesn't remember anything you say. | Anniversary ...

Just wanted to extend an invitation to be jealous of my pool any time you like.

Funny how you are only allowed to have an opinion when you agree with people, if you disagree then y...

Oh you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg and now my body is violently ripping down the...

Being cremated........my last hope for a hot, smokin' body.

Ha so true! Know a few of these folks...or maybe i should say fakes :) Nice boots city girl lol.

No, I used all my trust up on my ex-boyfriend. I do however have lots of anxiety, suspicion and para...

Sorry you failed your employee drug test because of the drugs you take so you can tolerate other emp...

Thanks for the advice, but what I really need are minions.

I love how in scary movies the person yells out "Hello?" as if the killer is going to be l...

It seem worse After a Negative Test. Even though you know it is coming.... Birth Announcements hit y...

My family should come with a warning label.

it is hard having a name that requires a 15 minute discussion with every new person you meet. . . Th...

I've seen monkey shit fights at the zoo that were more organized than this.

bwhaa

Wow, your 'insulting' Facebook post might be more effective... if your spelling errors didn&...

I lose interest in people I'm dating even faster than the world lost interest in Google Plus.

Life: You know that thing you do between Facebook, Pinterest and Candy Crush?

I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say 'I would do anything for love...

Let's relax tonight by spending two hours trying to find something to watch on Netflix.

You're the type of guy I'd make a sandwich for.

Free, Family Ecard: Shout out to all the REAL grandparents who spend time with ALL their grandkids a...

Funny Friendship Ecard: The rising new trend is 'Anal Bleaching'. Usually I'd be against...

I accidentally used my facebook status box instead of Google search and now I don't have to go t...

Funny Confession Ecard: I don't have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination.

I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile, then walk into a pole.

Hahaha