So typical of a dead beat parent to only want their children for the holidays.
Funny Thinking of You Ecard: I just want to snuggle you up, watch football and snack all day with yo...
If you're uncomfortable around my dog, I'm happy to lock you in the other room when you come...
All I want in life is for Four from Divergent to be real.
I call one of my coworkers 'Adobe Updater' because she tries to be helpful, but she's re...
Someone stop me before I read the Nutrition Label. totally me....
This is me and too many of my friends ;)
Or the one that I want and don't have!!
Idiots cause stress. Stress causes depression. Depression causes physical ailments. Conclusion: Stup...
New fave song!
If you're not 'Pinterested', don't share your negative commentary with me. These boa...
But I always wanted siblings.
You and I both know that neither one of us will ever make a light fixture from a Kerr jar, but I rep...
I wasted an entire day and it bothers me that it doesn't bother me.
Growing your own food
The only fun part of waiting in line at the pharmacy is guessing what diseases the people in front o...
healthy meals, meals and weights.
The cutest thing was in a store window today. I was gonna get it for you for you, but then I realize...
melons and lemons.
kids school, names and people.
chocolates, valentines and birthdays.
If we were cars, Id ride as close to your bumper as legally permissible.
runners, running and nike.
Just washing the tire marks off my face from when you threw me under the bus. When I wasn't even...
fairy tales, fairies and marriage.
~ I almost had an 'I need a guy moment' but then I was able to get the vodka open.
the police, parties and police.
I'd love to meet you for coffee if I wasn't someone who needed alcohol to socialize. (An...
friends, places and seats.
wood wood, ears and friends.
I think it's cute when you think you're well enough to stop taking your medication.
Funny Friendship Ecard: The only reason I haven't deleted you as a friend on Facebook is because...
All these children based TV shows, and all I can think of us 'Didn't the writers create pare...
Just couldn't stop laughing haha too funny
pregnancy, true stories and languages.
Spring needs to stand up to winter and kick it in the snowballs.
I didn't know we were playing Charades! Let me guess... You're a bitch.
disney kids, first day and movies.
friends, sisters and lyon.
people, remember this and ha ha.
You're kind of like my alarm clock: whenever I hear noise coming out of you I just want to hit y...
judges, music and ipods.
If there were Box Tops for Education on wine labels, my kids school would be RICH!
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